With reading timing is everything

Have you ever been reading something and realized it has had an unexpected impact?  It is not that what you are reading is so amazingly written you can't help it, but the timing in which you read it.  The first case for me has been reading When All Hell Breaks Loose by Cody Lundin. I started this book when things started to get bad with Grandpa Bill back at the end of May.  I found that the first quarter or so of the book reads like a self help book. It really goes into the psychology of survival and the mind set needed to get through. As I read the section titled " The creative power of the words I am", I found my self completely immersed in what the author was saying. If you use the words "I am" whatever you say after ,both negative and positive, becomes accepted into your reality.  I know Mr. Lundin is working on building the positive can do of the reader so the reader can see that just having stuff to survive may not be enough.  I found myself having a more personal meaning to the words on the page. This two and a half page section helped me through some tough times.  I now find myself watching what I say after the words " I am". I try to keep that positive and up beat as much as I can. Once we got the word Gramps was not going to make it I found myself trying to grasp for something. I remember telling myself when it all began " I am going to hurt", " I am going to be sad", " I am going to accept it will be hard", I am going to get through it", " I am going to be okay", and I am going to work to make him proud".  Now this may seem a little self absorbed but it truly helped me.

My second example came just yesterday. I have been stressed about refinancing my home, getting through work, money, and all of life's little things. Then I read and article in American Handgunner titled " On Bein' Thankful" by John Connor.  I know you might be thinking here comes the gun rant, but this article was really quite good. In this article he writes about a medical issue and issues he has and is dealing with. He does not go into detail of what it is but he says his wife as she helps him out and feels the scars on his body she can only say " oh, thank God, John Just thank God".  I can only imagine what they had gone through to make them so grateful for his current state. He also writes in this article of a young Army vet who gave him assistance after he had car problems. The young man was missing both his legs at the knee. He lost them in an IED blast. The young man said he was lucky because the doctors saved his leg from the knee up.  This made me realize how lucky I am. I have my health, a loving wife, a good job, a nice house, and a great family, born in and married in.

So my final though tonight is perhaps survival and life in general really is 90% psychological. If you think positive and stay thankful you can truly live the dream.  I am lucky, I am happy, and I am going to do good things.

Kent R. Perkins

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1/09/57 ~ 09/09/11
The old farmhouse stood in the ivory glow of a fall sunset in the Sanpete Valley awaiting its owners for a special weekend. They never arrived. Kent Perkins, 54, of Salt Lake City passed away unexpectedly and peacefully September 9, 2011 en route to his beloved Crawforth Farmstead in Spring City, Utah, ending a nearly 5 year journey ALS. His partner Scott and his personal nurse, Josh were at his side.
Kent Rae Perkins was born January 9, 1957 in Salt Lake City, Utah, the youngest of four boys born to Joyce Renee Jacobson and William Earl Perkins. He attended Salt Lake City schools and made a long career in the automotive paint and glass business. He was a co-owner in the former Shoot the Moon card and gift business in Sandy.
Kent and Scott spent their work week in Salt Lake and each weekend in Spring City. Kent loved to scour rural Utah for pioneer furniture, even entire log cabins which were reconstructed on new sites. They hosted a large gathering each summer and generously opened their historic home to hundreds of visitors attending Spring City Heritage Days during the Memorial Day weekend. Kent made the farm magical at Christmas and fireworks filled the winter sky on New Year's Eve.
He enjoyed taking out one of their antique carriages in good weather and the horse drawn sleigh especially if it was through the snowy fields, bells ringing and snow flying. Even though he didn't care for winter he could usually coax a group for night sledding on his fleet of Flexible Fliers, sparks shooting from the runners as they raced over random pieces of gravel or a cattle guard. The scene was somewhere between a Norman Rockwell moment and Flash Gordon.
Soon after Kent's diagnosis with ALS, he decided to retire. Rather than travel on some extended trips, Kent decided he would rather have a project to look forward to over a long term. Kent and Scott sold their Salt Lake residence and purchased the Joseph Walker carriage barn in the Avenues to transform it into their personal residence. He was able to supervise the project while his health held, then eventually from his wheelchair. They were able to move into the house in time for Christmas last year. He never stopped smiling.
Kent was a very proud man blessed with movie star good looks, and easy going personality and always meticulously groomed-including his automobiles. His family instilled in him a strong work ethic. He could fix, make or build anything.
To eventually turn over his every need to others was probably the most difficult. Fernando Enriquez was the perfect person to see that he was perfectly groomed; all things were orderly and cheerful. They had become so close. As Kent's need increased, he was fortunate to have Josh Varney as his companion and personal nurse. The team became one loving family.
Kent met his situation with grace, courage and a large dose of humor. He was supported by a loving family, a devoted companion and a host of friends and extended family who came with love and left with inspiration and resolve. Kent knew he mattered and that made life, challenging as it was, worth living.
He is preceded in death by: his grandparents, a brother, Kevin, and only recently a brother, Barry (Jackie), and his father, Bill. He is survived by: his mother; his brother, Larry (Tina); his partner, J. Scott Anderson; Miss Carrie Grant (the tuxedo cat); extended family and a family of friends. Though we part ways at the summit we wish him peace on the rest of his journey.
Services will be held Thursday, September 15, 2011 at Redwood Memorial Estates. Friends may call at 2:00 P.M. Followed by a graveside service at 3:30 P.M.
In lieu of flowers the family suggests donations to be made to Friends of Historic Spring City, P. O. Box 212, Spring City, Utah 84662 or Muscular Dystrophy Association of Utah, 4578 Highland Drive, #300, Salt Lake City, Utah 84117

The strangers on the wall

Friday night marked the passing of my last uncle on the Perkins side. His passing has marked the third Perkins passing in ten months. My family still feeling the effects of our patriarch's death now faces the burying of the youngest of the four brothers. I go from sadness and anger to numbness and confusion. I feel the need to be strong for my father and grandmother, who are now the only ones left from the core family. I feel some comfort knowing Kent, Barry, Kevin, and Gramps are together for the first time in almost eleven years. Those of us left behind will try to find comfort with that thought and each other. I know the family gatherings will be missing some very familiar energy.

Facing these losses has set me to thinking about the fact of having children. My kids will never get to meet their great grandpa Perkins, great uncles Barry, Kent, and Kevin. How will I explain the strangers on the wall to them. I guess I would start with Gramps. I will tell them of his wise counsel, strong work ethic, his wit and humor, and how he could fix or build anything including a family. I will remember him smiling and asking his question "How's Work?" He kept his positive attitude even facing his final hours. If we could all approach life a little more like Gramps we would do well.

For the uncles I will tell them of how Kevin was a man who loved to hunt and fish. How he always had a joke and that his nickname was "Caveman" for very good reasons. I will tell them how Barry was easy going loved fishing and how he was kind almost to a flaw. Barry had a way of going over the top for his nieces and nephews with gifts. He also had a warm smile and great dry sense of humor.  Kent will be remembered as the man in the middle of the room. If there was a crowd and they were laughing you could bet Kent was at the center. He loved to get people rolling on the ground with laughter. He possessed a sharp mind, and could keep the wit an humor going for hours.  Even with his horrible illness Kent refused to quit smiling and making everyone around him feel cheerful.

I know the stories will go on and the memory of these men will continue with us. I am glad that some of the youngest members of the Perkins clan will have some memories and I hope they pass those on. I know I will do all I can to keep them from becoming The Strangers on the Wall.

Gramps, Barry, Kevin, Kent I miss you all.